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a kick in the face to dads

Posted: March 16th, 2009 | Author: ralphhogaboom | Filed under: life | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments »
Dunno if you have Safeway stores where you live, but on the West Coast they’re kinda big. So my eyes popped yesterday, when picking up groceries with my two kids 7 & 5, when I saw an ad in the cart for Mom to Mom.

It looks like an in-house brand that targets stores owned by Safeway -Randall’s, Carr’s, Dominicks, Vons, Genuardi’s, et al. Anywho, after purchasing groceries, and with one child barely under control, I still stopped by the managers office to tell him what I thought.

“I find the ads offensive,” I said. “I don’t like being told by my grocery store – which has no right to dictate my family job roles – told by my grocery store that baby diapers and wipes are for my wife, not for me. Actually, it makes me mad as hell.” He thanked me and I left, but can’t really stop thinking about it. For a few other reasons, too.

I’ve heard some great conversations going on about what we should be using and putting in our bodies. Organic produce, rBSTs, etc. The same is true of child care and chemicals et al in some products. Suddenly I find that Safeway/Mom to Mom is excluding me from that conversation. Made by moms, for moms. Don’t bother asking 50% of the responsible party.

Look, I can appreciate that Mom to Mom wants to celebrate (& monetize) the special connection mothers have within families, often as the primary caregiver. But it’s inappropriate. We should, all of us, be celebrating the family that comes together in sacrifice and service to each other when we have children. When something becomes exclusive to the mom, it takes responsibility with it, squarely on the moms shoulders. Aside from implying a bigger workload for mothers, it excludes dads from the conversation, which tells the child they have reason to doubt both parents can confidently raise her.

It isn’t good for anybody.

4 Comments on “a kick in the face to dads”

  1. 1 Ada said at 1:22 pm on March 16th, 2009:

    Why couldn’t they have called it “parent to parent” or some other more inveloping term. I can’t imagine what the gay male couples who decided to adopt a baby are thinking right now!
    Remember that movie Mr. Mom? I guess you could just start calling yourself that, then you would be included in their store nazi-ism.

  2. 2 ralphhogaboom said at 4:17 pm on March 16th, 2009:

    Parent To Parent would have been great. Yes, I remember Mr Mom. I will never tolerate being called that. It’s Mr Dad.

  3. 3 john said at 10:29 pm on March 17th, 2009:

    110, 120, whatever it takes…

  4. 4 Lindsay said at 7:35 pm on March 23rd, 2009:

    Well said!

    I grudgingly purchased some “Mom to Mom” wipes when I was last in the Northwest (thankfully, I haven’t seen them in New England).

    When I see things like that, or hear the term “Mr. Mom” applied to my work-at-home-primary-caregiver-to-our-child husband, I find it not only offensive to my spouse but an indictment about the choice I made to be the parent who works outside the home. Calling a product “Mom to Mom” can make the mother who does not wipe the butt of her child as often as her partner feel like a crappy mom.


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