blood

Only 7% of the world’s population has type O negative blood. It’s not the rarest; Wikipedia points out that AB- is the rarest at 1%. Still — the thing about O- is that I get treated better than everyone else. At blood drives, anyway.

What some of you plain blood folks may not know is that we get special calls.

“Is this Ralph Hogaboom?”
“Yes.”
“Hi Ralph, I’m Denise and I’m calling from the Puget Sound Blood Center. How are you today?”
“I’m good.”
“I’m so happy to hear that!”
“Thanks!”
“You’re in Port Townsend, right?”
“Yeah.”
“How’s the weather up there today? I heard you guys are in a rain shadow…”
“Oh, it’s balmy here Denise.”
“Lucky!”
“Yeah.”

Eventually we get ’round to scheduling a time for me to come in. See, when your blood is as valuable as mine, they respect your time a little more.

They also do reminder phone calls, ’cause they want my blood.

They’re also unfailingly nice at the blood center. They know I’m different than others because the check-in lady says “And here’s someone else for you … he has a 10 AM appt.”

That’s code for “He has an appointment, that means he has valuable blood. Treat this one well.”

I don’t love getting treated this way. It’s more accurate to say I looooooooooooooove being treated this way. I’m over a half gallon for the last 12 months; when I hit a gallon of blood donated, I get a new pin! I’m pretty excited.

I Hate MSN.

I hate MSN.

Hello? Honey, it’s SPRINT.

January 29th, 2004 @ 8:29 am

Got a phone call tonite.

Unknown Caller: “This is …. Bob … with Sprint PCS wireless … you’ve been preselected to receive a Sprint PCS free wireless-”

Me: Really? That sounds like a great deal!

Bob from Sprint: “Good. Then all I need is to confirm your billing address.”

Me: Okay, I’m ready.

Bob from Sprint: “Your address is one-three-two-four fourteen … th … Street in Port Townsend Washington, 98368?”

(brief silence)

Me: I can’t tell you that.

Bob from Sprint: “What do you mean?”

Me: Well, that’s something that I just can’t tell you. Next question.

Bob from Sprint: (laughing) “You can’t tell me? Sir, I need to confirm this mailing address for you to qualify.”

Me: Do what you gotta do.

Bob from Sprint: “Uhhh … okay .. What? I don’t understand …”

Me: What do I have to do?

Bob from Sprint: “Tell …. tell me your … confirm your mailing address. Is this Ralph H – O – G – A – B – O – O – M ?”

Me: Yes, it is.

Bob from Sprint: “And you do receive mail at one-three-two-four 14th street in Port Townsend, Washington, 98368?”

Me: There is no way I can tell you that information. I can neither confirm or deny that.

Bob from Sprint: “Wait … I …. uh, where do you live? Do you live in a house? … I don’t understand!”