I was born over 300 years ago in a fire from the union of two unholy demons named Vinegar and Preposition. I was bitten by Abraham Lincoln during a full moon, and now every four score and seven years I transform in a Werebraham myself. Since that time, I have dedicated myself and my life to truthfulness, and never ever lie or exaggerate for comedic effect, personal profit, or to sow confusion. Also, I’m madly in love with you.

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Those are pictures of me. This is my family, my partner Kelly Hogaboom and my kids Nels & Phoenix.


Here are more pictures of what I begat.

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